At the crossroads

I really don't know how to tag this day... a good one or a bad one??? It was a bright morning.. I started bit early today.. and did few good stuff…. But then slowly it changed to a droning day and I felt as if I can sleep over again and change this boring schedule a bit...…

By Afternoon, I got two big surprises which took all my attention and I felt like dancing….. Life appears to be easy, it seems everything is again becoming perfect. But like movies everything doesn't goes well in reality.

Suddenly like a strong squall of wind has hit my happiness…....WHAM… and I was sad… tears in my eyes and lonely… no one to share my feeling which made it even worse…. And reminded me of my personal space and I am here writing..... so that I can take this burden off.

At times I feel as if I am in crossroad just wondering which direction to take each has its own pros & con.. and some really pertify me…. Life seems to be tough from one side and the other makes me feel that why the hell I am so disturbed, everything will be fine as it has always been. Sometimes I pray to god and leave every thing on him, but on the very next moment I start feeling scared about uncertainty… Sometimes it exhausts me when I say nothing. Sometimes it fills me with energy when I say a lot. I have said nothing today and I have said a lot.

Why do we become like this? Is it the lack of will of wanting to share something, or is it just that at times you want to do something that is not necessarily expected.

It seems these days I am discovering and rediscovering new sides of my personality- Loser, Cynic, zero confidence and with a give up attitude… (which were not part of my dictionary few months back)
This statement is an oxymoron but anyways.........Hope things will change and get better.

But this moment this is what I can say….

At the crossroads of my life
past forgotten
I stand with a heaving heart
f uture so uncertain

As the glow in my eyes
fades away
I wonder if the dreams are gone
or are here to stay…..

Jyoti