In between

Life has been really strange lately. In a way I am in between destinations. Problem is that I have no idea whether I am coming from or where my next destination is either.


I guess I am at the juncture of a threshold crisis of sorts. Then there is the problem of my mind which has gone into overdrive. It keeps thinking all sorts of things which include some not too happy figments. The worst kinds of nightmares are those which make you come to face to face with reality. Which make you realize that your dreams have vaporized and you will never achieve what you wanted to within your time frame.

But once you have achieved the unthinkable, you start feeling that nothing is impossible. You can get whatever you desire but sadly that's not the case. Success is like time, it goes away in a jiffy. And then you try to hold onto it and relive it but sadly it is just a bunch of memories.

Then you start justifying that what you wanted was not worth it or it was not what you truly desired. You come up with explanations that life is not fair, luck plays probably the most important role and yes all the above is true. But does it pacify the pathetic feeling that you did not even have a shot at trying what you wanted.

I told a friend of mine in the final few days of my undergrad college that life won't be the same as we know it. It will just become one single word "COMPROMISE”.

Thought I never truly believed what I said, I am beginning to realize, painfully, that I was right.

Jyoti