Get away Resolution list!

New year.... time for new resolutions and going back to last year’s resolutions which are now things of past. N says every year I make resolutions and before mid Jan break all of them. That's quite rude and exaggerated. I agree that I break resolutions but not mid Jan little after that... and tell me who doesn't. But his sarcasm cannot stop me making impossible New Year resolutions (knowing very well about their fate). It has become a ritual for me now making and breaking resolutions.... and I am in no mood to break this ritual. So here I am once again with my resolution and this time only my list of things I want to get away with..... :)

 - Emotionally eating allot tendency.

 - Stop dancing on crappy music and actually enjoying it and irritating others.

 - Buying loads of stuff and then never looking at it.

 - Everyday excuses of being lazy in getting up, going for walk.... blah blah!

 - Laughing and giggling without any reason and confusing others :)

 - Talking without any reason and talking to myself
 - Buying loads of books and then keeping them in the self without reading.

 - Making impossible resolution (not mine N forced me to put this here)

Let go!

Sometimes you need to set things free even though it's hard.
Things may not be the same but soon you'll see that what you did is far better than before.

Sayonara 2011!

2011 has been another tumultuous and challenging year. When I look back I could see an entire decade gone. Decade wherein I completed schooling... entered college and then subsequently after post grad started working. Got married to this wonderful person. Decade with so many emotions attached to it. What a spectacular decade it was.. And surprisingly it doesn’t feel that long really.

I like to think I have grown up in the past 10 years.  Maybe I have…… or there might be some  gaps. There have been moments of lucidity when I can really pin point where they are. There are even moments of enlighten when I genuinely want to fill them. But they escape and quickly... before I can grab them or even want to.

You know, 10 years from now I will want to read this post and make some meaning out of it.

Any ways to wrap up this wonderful year which was nothing more than a marathon for me in all fronts. I hope next one will bring loads of happiness and peace in everyone's life. 2011 will stay alive in my memory for all that happiness it bought and all that blunders I made. Sayonara 2011!

Rat Race

Today when I was sitting in the coffee area with different set of people and the topic of discussion was the Development Center pros & Cons. Since, I never had any experience in this front so I took back seat in the discussion and was testing my listening skills. After some time along with listening I started observing people, their body language, their thought process, and their way of expressing things. Some of them were very aggressive, some had issues in expressing what they wanted to say, some were filled with lots of negativity and some were like scared to talk… but everyone had one common thing, they were all heading in the same direction and none of them had any clue which direction was that.

After what seems like a long time I lost the track of the conversation. I was now in my own world but I was still observing them. I know it’s little rude to say but from where I was seeing they appears to be like any other rat in the rat race.

Reason: They are doing what they are doing because many people were doing the same thing. They were least bother to know why they are following this particular path…. They were completely blank about the path and about the destination. I am sure all of them have some dreams but those dreams are not fulfilled so now they don’t bother them anymore. Now they are just blindly doing what many people think is right. Even if they don’t know who are these ‘Many People’.

I felt strange for a moment but subsequently realized that universally now that’s the real story. We all are following such rat race without being aware about it. What was earlier a world of creative people is now becoming a world of machines & robots.

My early new year resolution

This year was pathetic as far as my blogging is concern. Sometimes I do have this guilt conscious of not matching my own expectations..... But like that little me I cheat myself with those silly excuses that I am busy... don't have time... too many things on my plate and many more.

Today was also one such day but, this time  I refused to lie and decided to write something even if its as silly as this one... and even though it's too early to take a new year resolution I have to take one to keep myself motivated.

Hope I will be able to keep up with this one! 

Remember, it’s 18th November

So finally after loads of ups and down we have completed our one year together...... hmmmm.... No,  I don't think that’s how I actually want to start it. Year was not that long actually… On the contrary we never realized how fast this year went….. It was dam quick trust me.

Marriage has added the Shine and Sparkle of sweet joys to our life. It has given dreams in our eyes and a Song in our hearts.... And it has made each moment that we spent together look picture perfect! :)

Happy anniversary Hubs! :) You made this day special once again :)

P.S. To Hubs always remember that its 18th November.

Great Rewards follow Tough decisions

Recently I attended one Coffee with Connect session with one of the emerging leader of the investment bank. It was a more over an informal session wherein, people were allowed to ask all sort of question to the guest and he would share his thoughts based on his experience and knowledge. There were few points which were complete take away for me and would like to share those in my space considering the fact that it might be useful for my friends as well.

When asked what was that one dream that you think you fulfilled in your life he replied that, "My life experiences have taught me that there are bound to be ups and downs and it is only family and friends that help tide over difficult times. I went through a personal crisis in 2002 and there was doom and gloom everywhere. Instead of maintaining status quo, I decided to give my entrepreneurial drive a “go”. I traded my corporate comfort for setting up a business of 150 people and ran it for 3 years before divesting it to a large IT company. Soup to nuts teaches one a lot and I think I benefited immensely with that experience both in terms of what to do and what not to do. Most importantly I listened to my heart and fulfilled my aspiration of running my own business." This was something very motivating for me as I am in a dilemma as to what should I do and after listening to this I got that hope that come what may i should at least give myself one chance. Success and failure is a secondary issue.

When asked what derives you? Guest said that, "Almost everything but most importantly when I can make a positive impact in anyone’s life. Its the fact that I can make difference with my acts keeps me up and running. So we should all come out of that routine mind set up and think what can we do that will make a difference today. "

He also gave a beautiful career advice for everyone and it was something like this, "My advice would be, build depth in your formative years, develop a skill for which you will be known and then branch out to build breadth. Keep challenging the obvious and enhance your knowledge base. The process of building one’s career is fraught with highs and lows. The key here is not to lose heart in times of adversity and have faith in yourself. Most importantly be a rounded personality, have a sense of humor and do not take yourself too seriously."

All in all I liked the session because at the end I made the right decision to be a part of it.. my take away undoubtedly had more weight than the time I spent. So I am happy about it and love to share it as well.

Change

Somehow I believe in the philosophy of individualism and therefore, for me following other sheep's and being successful is not as important as being myself. As I was born to be a different individual not a herd.

For years now we have perfected the art of excellence by means of replication and repetition in our work, in our personal life you name it and mankind has it all. But it is also a fact that any phenomenon has to evolve and find ways to sustain or enhance its growth in its ever adaptive environment – this is true in the philosophy and work methodology of our life as well. While we now work in a world of clones, replicas of ourselves, we are comforted by a hundred more minds with the same ideas, same skills and same background around us. Do we find ourselves in a cosy corner, less threatened by any radical change of idea or spur of innovation? Despite our best of intentions and undoubted success resulting from this commonality, we tend to lose the innate uniqueness we would otherwise bring with us. However, a bold dash of red on a simple grey spread - can set our creative senses ablaze even today.  All the things this brings to our mind are the thrill of contrast, character and above all a new perspective. 

There is an undeniable satisfaction that being true to one bring in diversity in the otherwise grey and common work environment. These in turn propel us towards positive change.

Blooming flowers

Festival of Sunshine, warm weather, blooming flowers, wind in my hair ...beautiful sunrise or a glorious meadow of wild flowers quietly enjoy it and listen as heaven whispers, "Do you like it..I did it just for you.".... ahh, Spring is already here!

But then why this warm weather has suddenly changed into cloudy sky... Oh I just felt a drop on my face... is it really spring or was I dreaming?

Awwww not spring its my special day with all those bright lights and beautiful flowers. I just love spring and rain both at the same time. Loves to watch the rain, lightning and hear the thunder. It feels refreshing. There's just something about feeling cold rain drops slowly fall down your face that makes life easier. Rain with beautiful flowers around is pure bliss. These beautiful flowers means a lot when they have a feeling attached to them... daisy, rose, lilac all have a special message for that special person. Sometimes I wonder if a flower can feel a raindrop gently caressing its petal, If I can feel its own beauty. Nature is so beautiful in itself, within the beauty of nature we find the strength of the god and goddess. Within the songs and silence of nature, we hear their voice and guidance.

No words to show the beauty of nature and feelings! Some of my captures to express it.

  

  

    

 

Little World

With so much happening all around sometimes I feel to get disconnected from the outside world and hide in my own little world. Sometimes I just like to sit with my headphones in and shut the world out. Switch off that always buzzing mobile, chats popping up, TV with same old news presented with different expressions... Its been a while since I stayed with myself without outer interference... just me and only me... little music playing on at the background. Just sitting in my own little world where anything I want can happen. Looking at those flower laden green trees, those mountains trying to touch the clouds and listening to all those melodious birds going out of their house and then coming back to feed their kids. I wish to sit on the grass when night is freezingly cold and sky is full of stars just to listen what the darkness of night has to say to me and then to feel that cold breeze on my bare skin. 

Oh, I just wish that day to come really soon as I want to meet myself soon really soon.

:-)

Time moves on and we later regret
the things not done,
the words not said,
the love not shown,
life's too short,
do what makes you happy :-)

Jam

Jams... no not the sweet one, I am referring to the every day traffic jams that we all face everyday... like a ghost it comes every now an then to haunt us. Vehicles all around honking horns but the signal lights seems to take ages to go green. Every signal you go and you will face same scene... sometimes I feel as if I am still waiting at the same signal.

This is one part of metros I just hate. These concrete jungles are like hell at times.. specially when you are stuck in the worst jams. I wish I can run to the country side and leave these jams far behind. Wish I was at the beach with my toes in the sand, hearing the waves of the ocean and seeing a beautiful sunset :)

Time for action

Mumbai was struck by three powerful bomb blasts during the evening rush hour on Wednesday that killed at least 21 people and injured dozens more. After the blast people started saying again that Mumbai will move on and it will come stronger after the blast. But I say till when we will move on? Don't we have any responsibility towards our country towards our people?  


Mumbai always move on and our beloved politicians take it for granted. People say Indians, especially Mumbaikars will come stronger after the blast. I think it's just a habit of "lets move on". Condemning Mumbai blast doesn't solve problem! Perpetrators to be brought to justice that's what we demand.. Keep aside Spirit of Mumbai! But this time I don't want to hear about Mumbai's spirit and resilience anymore. I want to hear about how we hit back. like US did with Osama and Saddam. Its time for action enough of this moving on business.

Little lonely

When I look around,
I see dead bodies,
The dead are dead,
One living are dead too.
They don't feel,
They don't care
Their heart screams,
Soul cries, but
They Follow blindly .
Is the God also feeling Little lonely? 

Breeze

My poems, wrote today.


My thoughts freeze in the cold
I try to stir them up with a few sips of hot coffee
But the memory of me doesn’t change with time
The coffee clears it a bit ,
Making way for you..
But, not for long, come the breeze
And I am all frozen again. 

Nostalgia

Books, libraries to these new day bookstore... I don't know there is something in there which attract me towards them...... Something which I just can't resist.
Libraries equipped with wonderful books and more importantly inviting spaces, it's a boon. Love at first sight. Truly.

I find it so peaceful to be in midst of columns of books. The smell of old yellowing paper. The shine of new ones and the sharp rustling sound they make.

I even have favorites. Like the old language books from school... one I used to frequent as a kid. And some I hate - like the one at my alma mater - SSEC. That one was designed to discourage readers and reading alike. So boxy.
However, I feel the most nostalgic about the "book clubs" we used to form during the summer vacations. The neighborhood kids used to pitch in their precious comic books together. Its amazing to think that as 10 year olds we knew the importance of sharing. A skill that most grown ups lack

Click Click 3

Clicks from my last visit to Jaipur dreams...

Cheese

Sing in the shower,
Dance in the rain,
Laugh as much as you can,
Live your life to the fullest
You never know when this life will end.

In between books :)

The pleasure of finishing a book is followed by another pleasure - of being book-less for a while.

Feel a little weight lost in your bag when you leave home. When you look out of the window in the bus your fingers can relax as well as they need not be a bookmark anymore..... Enjoy the nothingness for a while, look at the highway, the speeding cars, the birds, the breeze, the salt fields in the morning light, flower laden trees and if nothing exciting catch up some new shops & malls on the way. Watch the world in slo-mo or fast cuts, as you choose. It's all so lovely....nothing to go back to.....nothing to come back to.....nothing not to forget behind. Give your brain a break and focus on your own story for a while.

After all this when you feel something is missing, some story is calling you....... come home from work, go take a look at your shelf. Your modest treasure lies in those dusty ruins.... Not too long though, for you already know which one to pick up the next.

Excitement will start mounting.......to uncover this new story, new treasure.... kos, the pleasure of finishing a book for is followed by another pleasure - Starting a new one

Sky full of Promises

These days I woke to cloudy sky.... and first thing that comes to my mind is will it rain now.... or will it rain while going to office... or is it just playing with my imagination and my mood. What ever it is but the promise is beautiful enough for me to be happy... and to dance and to sing and to feel like a free bird.

Music mania

Music is a magic gifted to human by nature.... just lovely... priceless... one can't describe what music can do to you exactly .. But for most of us it can make you laugh, it can make you cry when you are in all happy mood... its so amazing. 


I was listening few old songs yesterday night, then this very emotional song started and in no time I was full choked and was filled with loads of emotions. It was so strange but so real. I love music... melody...the feel...emotions.....memories that they brings. There are songs that can really make you sad and cry when you hear them. But it's actually not the song that makes you cry, it's the people behind the memories. Isn't it lovely.

Click 2

Flowers & fishes.... Fantastic!

Click Click

Few random clicks......... My weekend work.

Me & Mistakes

I am the author of my life. Unfortunately, I write it all in pen. There I cannot erase the mistakes.....I can only continue writing and learn from what I've already written..... I know I have made so many mistakes in past but trust me I have learnt so much from them... but can't help it there are so many new things to learn and so many mistakes to make.... So don't blame me now if I make mistake next time... b'coz thats my learning cycle :)

Light it!

Some of pics I just love.

Wedding vows

Look at me to this day with you in front of me.
I am standing in front of God with this question.
"Am I ready" no, I am not ready
We rushed things but you know
That doesn't change a thing.

Because I bet their were alot of people
That said we weren't going to make it.
I'm so glad we made it this far.
We are going still going to go strong
Through the hard times.

You are still the one I kiss at the end of each day.
You are still the one I hold on to.
You are still the one that my heart belongs;
The person that helped me fix it back into one piece.

You know whenever I am with you.
I still get the butterflies
when you kiss me I still have blush on from the last time you kissed me.

We were on a journey from day one
And now this doesn't even stop it
It just makes new roads and obstacles for us to go through.
When it gets cold and hopeless outside
I wont give in,
I will just half to keep holding on and just keep strong when you are with me.

We will make through anything at all.
Our relationship wont ever come to an end
Look we use to be complete strangers in love
Now we are soon to be husband and wife.

You know I use to have one heart to protect
But now I am fighting for two but beating
And breathing for two.
Ok you know what?
I was always full of fears and crying these tears.

I want our journey to continue hand in hand.
I want to look up at the stars
And know that our memories are made under these stars.
Dancing under the moon.
Laughing in the grass.
Learning alot from one another.

Growing and going stronger each day.
Sparks in my eyes, fire deepening in my eyes,
All of this trying to find out what love is?
What is it?

Love made me twist up in you.
The love between us, has changed everything about me,
it made me have hope within my heart.
In a perfect world, we would create our own

I might not be brave,strong or smart
I know our love will find a way,
Anywhere I will go i am home as long as your there right beside me like night turning into day.

I was so afraid to love you,
But when I looked at you into your eyes
I see love is never wrong so it never dies.
There's that perfect world shining in your eyes.
When I stand next to you,
I always want to smile up at you with joy.

The best kind of true love is the kind that weakens the soul.
It makes you just reach out for more.
And it plants a fire in our hearts.
It brings peace to our minds even though you cant seem to breathe because of each moment I share with you, it takes it away.
You have given me something I could never trade something else for.

I could still see the love when I look you in the eyes.
I know I can hear your heart beat for every time I kiss you.
I know when we are apart, I can feel of how much you miss me.
When you spin me around I feel like I am flying.

We are going to make mistakes
But you know just remember it'll be just another turn.
I still remember when you first whispered
Those three wonderful sweet words "I love you"
And know you meant it with your whole heart and you still do.
You just accept me of everything I am.

Now these are my wedding vows to you.
I hope you like them,
Hope you will cherish it with your whole heart.
I know I kissed you a million times
But now where is my first sweet kiss as my husband? 

Its true...!

Its almost six month to my marriage to this luvhly but stupid guy. This six months has given me the right to be mushy today....somehow I still find it hard to really put into words how happy I am with Nish. Probably because he makes me happy in so many ways... I will say this:

He makes me feel a calm and peace within by just knowing I have him.... And at times he makes me the wildest of creature just because I have him.

He is my peace of mind and he is the one who knows how to take away that peace of mind too.

When I'm with him, everything- including the biggest of problems, falls away....because he becomes my biggest problem.

He has that strength that supports me and makes me feel everything is gonna be alright.... because nothing can be as bad as his dancing.

He is sweet and generous....only at times.

He is the boyfriend (oophss Husband) that I always wish I had and never had- until now.... because he is only one item on this earth.

He is the kind of man that cries.... and makes me cry as well.

He has a firm hand that can reign me in. But he is also forgiving.... yes sometimes he does forgive people... even though I don't remember any incident.

I see him with kids and I know he is going to be a good father.... because he has no other option!

I feel and am safe when I am with him.... he is so scary.

On serious note,

We have fun together. We share books, watch movies... Talk about anything and everything. We laugh together.

We adore each other.

He holds my hand and whispers sweet words into my ear.

He has mood swings. He can be wild sometimes. But he is generally kind.

He is NOT perfect. He has his moments. But today I find them irrelevant. For I have found a good man. And above all else, that man loves me for me.

Old at 25

Its already May and in few months I am going to be a year older.. I can't believe it, time is running so fast. I still remember when I celebrated my birthdays as a kid it was so much fun, but now it is scary.

I remember when I was younger when I would be with cousins and find them old at 25. I somehow had this notion that by 25 you were supposed to be everything that you wanted to be already. And yet here I am, not even close... and my sis has already tagged me as an 'Old'.

I feel old. Really, for the first time I feel that I am... mature. Or at least, supposed to be. I look back at days gone by... Think of them fondly. Like the way old people think of their youth.

Still... There is a lot to be thankful for. Family, friends, love and life. And growing old gracefully. Cheers!

Long break

Loving this Friday that is dressed up like Saturday and then usual maniac Monday which is going to be my second Sunday. Extended weekends are so special...!

I just love these long weekends. :) 

Dreamy Dreams

Nice lines I came across today.. .. "Dreams aren't those that you have when you are asleep. Dreams are those that don't let you sleep till they are fulfilled."

So true!

Baje Sargam

Watched this Baje sargam which used to come on Doordarshan... a unique blend of flute, tabla, sitar.. just awesome. I m speechless :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpW2aXc9xQ8

After that long pause

Nish says I keep talking to myself. A lot.

But I beg to differ. I talk to people, imaginary talks with real people. And yeah that is enough to brand me cuckoo..

But anyways, its these conversations in which I come up with my most non-cuckoo realizations. Mostly about life and serious stuff like that.

Occasionaly stupid cheesy stuff. (Life is what you make out of it. Ergo, you should make out a lot)

And yes, I do realize that I am only talking to myself.

You see, I make excellent conversations.

Black Swan

I sometimes do not understand why some movies get popular. Black Swan is one of them.

Hated it. Ewww!

Revisit

It feels really great to revisit your old house, old friends, school, old memories.... something similar I am feeling at this moment. Reading my blogs after ages and it feels as if it just happened... but then dates are what makes things confusing... if it was just new days ago how my reality check says it was actually years ago. Is there is some issue with my calculation, or its the time or is it in my head?

 What ever it is but after revisiting my blogs after long time I feel really excited to post some more....!! So no more excuses I am going to write it frequently from now on.

p.s I hope my 'frequent' will come really quick this time.